Sisterhood and The Good Stuff

A little over nine years ago, I found out I was pregnant with our first child.  We didn’t know what we were having, but I had a strong feeling it was a girl.  Being pregnant made me reevaluate a lot of the things I thought about women- and having female friendships.  I realized that while I valued and loved my male friends dearly, they would never truly understand what it is to be a mother, what it is to carry a child, and most of all- what it is to be a woman. 

A year into being a mother, we moved to Greenville, SC.  I joined my first “mom group”.  It was more intimidating than trying out for a cheerleading squad.  These women were from all walks of life, and they all seemed to know what they were doing.  I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, and I was aware that I didn’t know.  In retrospect, I think some of them just faked it better than others, because let’s be real, when it comes to parenting, no one knows what the heck they’re doing.  No one.

The thing about joining a “mom group” or trying to make mom friends, that no one tells you, is that it’s like dating.  It’s so awful until you start to accept the kind of mom you are and recognize the kind of friends you really want.  After a while, I got better at quickly discerning who was going to become a good friend, and who would be “filler”, or nothing at all.

After moving so many times, I’ve made so many wonderful, amazing girlfriends, that I often wonder how I’d gotten through life this long without them.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown so much as a person.  I don’t think I would be the person I am without the love, support, and respect of my tribe. 

Many of my girlfriends have kids.  My friends range from high-level business women to artists, stay-at-home moms to philanthropists.  They are all strong women who are encouraging the next generation of children to be strong, open, kind, and focused on creating positive things for a better world. 

And as great as these moms are, the idea that you need to have children to be an influencer, encourager, or inspiration to the future generations is bull.  The idea that women with children can’t be friends with women without children is unhealthy and antiquated, and frankly, it’s holding women back.  Women need to support women.  People need to support people.  In a time where 9 out of 10 news articles are terrifying, where message boards about travel, parenting, or the color yellow are riddled with fear mongering, we NEED to support one another.  We NEED to spread the good stuff.  Support the positive.  Spread the positive, not the negative.

On Sunday, I will be sharing an interview with Sara Amrhein.  She is an amazing artist, a wonderful person, and a positive force in the world.  Beginning this month, I will be posting monthly interviews with inspiring artists, business people, and spreaders of the “good stuff”.   If you have someone you are inspired by, that you would like to nominate for an interview, please email me at cara@bowandbranch.com.

Make Time.

For the last two weeks, my girls and I have been taking “Flat Stanley” on adventures in Zurich for our dear friend, Henry, in Georgia.  His second-grade class was inspired to use the Flat Stanley books to connect with friends or family that live far away.  You send Stanley in the post, and your friends/family send you some photos and mementos from the adventures he had.

This comes at an interesting time for our family, as we’ve been in flux about where we’re going to land after this school year.  We’ve moved seven times with our kids, and our eldest has gone to four schools.  Needless to say, we all feel like our hearts are a bit scattered across the planet.  Sometimes that causes a disconnect between friends and family, so it means a lot when people like Henry, and his supermom, Christine, make the extra effort to reach out, visit, and send small reminders that we have another “home” with people that love us.

I’ve always struggled with the idea of “home”.  I’ve moved over twenty times in my life, and I don’t ever remember feeling like a place was my home.  I’m very, very rooted in people, the majority of which I’ve met throughout the last few moves, and they’ve become the family that I never realized I needed. This has taught our girls to nurture their friendships, no matter where they are.  Call, write, send a message or photo.  Charlotte, our middle bean, is obsessed with sending letters.  The girls have a keen understanding that it takes effort to have and maintain relationships, and if I have anything positive to take away from their being uprooted so often over the last 8 years, it’s that they have a sense of just how important people are.

That said, let me leave you with some advice.  I once had a professor fill a jar with marbles.  He asked us if the jar was full.  Half the class said, yes.  The other half recognized that the jar still had space.  He then poured in sand, as a reminder that there is a lot more space in that jar than you think. 

My advice is this- make time.  Everyone is busy.  It’s our current human condition.  If you love someone, and you want to maintain a relationship with them, during your busy life, make time.  Put a reminder in your phone, or on your calendar if you kick it old school with a day-planner.  Because at the end of the day, at the end of your life, the things that matter, are your people- the builders in your life and the builders OF your life.

Build, Don't Break.

We have a family motto - “We are builders, not breakers.”  I’ve said this so many times to our children that I’ve heard them throw it out at a group of friends during a disagreement.  I’ve watched our four-year old shout it at her friends on the playground when they’re being unruly and at her big sister when they fight.

Last September, our eldest daughter turned eight.  She wanted to have a science party to celebrate.  With the help of some friends, and my awesome husband, we hosted a party to remember.

The party was wonderful.  We had monogrammed lab coats, safety goggles, notebooks to record their findings, an experiment with slime, an experiment about solids and liquids, and old faithful - the Mentos and Coke experiment.  When the girls were done their structured experiments, they had free experimenting for almost an hour.  It was so amazing to watch.

If you’ve ever hung out with a group of seven and eight-year old girls, you’ll understand why I felt that it was so important to repeat our family mantra at the beginning of the party, and throughout.  I’ve been to so many drama-filled playdates and birthday parties, I’ve lost count.  I was determined that this party would be as drama free as possible, and I have to tell you, there was none.

The girls were engaged.  They really heard me when I said not to be a breaker, and to be a builder.  I heard them repeat it to one another when they were doing their experiments.  It was absolutely awesome.

When the girls sat down in their group at the end of the party, and their parents arrived, their parents walked in to a room of girls discussing their experiments and conclusions thoughtfully.  The girls really listened and supported one another, and five months later, my heart is still so full and proud when I think of them and their behavior that day.  They were the ultimate builders.

Lately, I feel as if we adults could use a gentle reminder that we need to be builders, and not breakers.  Whether you’re trying something new, collaborating with someone, teaching, or even just being a friend or partner, it’s so important to remember the affect your words and actions have on the people around you.  I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to distance myself, or walk away from people that break me down.  It’s more than okay.  It’s a lesson I want my girls to see in how I live my life, so that they don’t break others down.  Life is hard enough.  Relationships are work.  Be a builder, not a breaker.

Geneva, Rediscovering Independence, and Motherhood

Twenty months ago, I gave birth to our third daughter, Arianna.  She was (and still is) the most easygoing little person I’ve ever met in my life.  When my husband decided to take our older daughters to visit friends in the US when the baby was six weeks old, he booked Arianna and I a long weekend in Geneva.  I was so excited to go see a new place, have some air-conditioning during the heat wave that was going on (A/C is extremely uncommon in Switzerland!), and to relax with my bubs for a few days.

I’ve never been one of those people that’s afraid to travel alone, but I have to say, traveling that first time alone with our tiny baby in a country that I had only lived in for three months came with some trepidation and nervousness.  Almost every time I’ve traveled alone with our girls, it was domestically in the United States or in Italy - places that I was confident in my ability to get around, could communicate well if something happened, and had a solid support network. 

That’s the trick of living in a new country.  Even when you’re in a new state or province in your country, help is not that far from reach, but when you’re in a new country, it can take several hours or days to come to your aid.  These are things that pop into your mind when your postpartum traveling with a newborn.

As soon as we got on the train however, I felt at ease.  Arianna slept most of the way.  We saw the most glorious fields of sunflowers. The Swiss countryside is so gorgeous, you can’t help but feel like you’re on some Narnia-like journey.  I saw more churches, farms, and fields of green than I had ever seen in my life.  (Now those gorgeous fields and mountain views just seem part of a normal day.)

Geneva is like Zurich’s quirky French cousin.  It’s very multicultural, the food is fantastically French, and the art and fashion scene are much more colorful than Zurich.  Summer was a fun and gorgeous time of year to visit. 

My trip to Geneva was good for me.  It gave me a break from everyday life, and it gave me a gentle reminder that I am still capable of traveling alone, or just me and the kids.  I feel like sometimes it’s so easy to not do things, to not try things, or to talk yourself out of doing things that are difficult or scary.  Self-doubt is the mean friend that you need to break up with, but don’t because you’re worried you’ll hurt someone else’s feelings.  Do the things that make you uncomfortable, take the trips you’re nervous to take, attempt the hobbies you fear you aren’t capable of mastering.  What’s the worst that could happen? 

Some advice if you find yourself planning a trip to Geneva…

Walking around Geneva, especially the Old Town area, is one of the best ways to experience life there.  Early in the morning, you see people with their trolleys going to the local market for fruit and vegetables, and popping in and out of the boulangerie for bread and rolls.  There’s something so enchanting about the mountain views of Mont Blanc, Mont Saleve, and Le Mole. Walking along the lake, experiencing the bustle and vibrance of an aperitif in the summer, having a charming meal and exploring the pockets of green space were what really made the visit to experience so special to me.

If you want a picture of the Flower Clock without 500 tourists in the way, go early in the morning.  That area is really special during that time of day.  It’s you, people commuting to work, a few runners, and some vendors setting up.

The tram system is also super easy to navigate, if you don’t want to experience Geneva by just walking or cycling.  I recommend staying in the Old Town area if possible.  I stayed at The Metropole.  It was a nice hotel with a rooftop bar that has an absolutely lovely view.  I was staying there during a renovation, so I can’t speak to what it’s like now, but my guess is the rooms have been updated a bit since my visit.  Really though, you’re staying there for the location – it was amazing!!  However, please keep in mind, it’s not 100% accessible - there is a flight of stairs prior to the elevators (although the staff is very willing to assist with a stroller).

Old Town has some fantastic restaurants.  Dinner at Le Relais de l'Entrecote. is a must if you’re visiting the region.  For lunch, La Clemence is a must.  They make the tastiest sandwiches, and it’s fabulous to sit and people watch.  Restaurant Chez ma Cousine has some of the best chicken I’ve ever had in my life.  It’s narrow and homey inside, full of couples and families alike.  If you’re looking for something sweet, there’s the famous French bakery, Laduree, whose macarons and desserts never disappoint, as well as numerous chocolate shops, such as Auer Chocolatier and Du Rhone Chocolatier.

Welcome to the Land of Chocolate!

One of the most memorable experiences you can have while visiting Zurich would have to be attending a chocolate making class at the Lindt Chocolate Factory.  They do not host tours, but they do have some pretty amazing workshops. How many times in your life will you be able to say that you’ve learned to decorate and make chocolates in a world famous, premiere chocolate house?

I’ve been to two different courses.  One was a praline decorating course. We decorated pralines for Mother’s Day (which felt particularly special, as I was pregnant with our third baby, and was making chocolates with our eldest), and placed them in a heart box that we’d made with chocolate.  My daughter was 6 at the time, and she absolutely loved it.  I really enjoyed watching her be creative, and Laela really loved her first true introduction to what she affectionately calls Switzerland- “The Land of Chocolate!”.

Upon entering the factory, you are shown where to change into your uniform- a professional chef jacket, apron, and hat.  Once you are dressed, you enter the most gorgeous chocolate making classroom.  You pick your work station and prepare to learn how to decorate chocolates.  After a short demonstration, the chocolatiers walk around and assist you with making a box of chocolates to take home.  You also get to taste various varieties of chocolate during the lesson.

My second experience at Lindt was around this time last year.  I accompanied many parents from our daughters’ school for a special class in English.  We were even filmed by CNN!  I made some new friends and laughed so hard my cheeks hurt.  It’s one of the most fun events I’ve gone to.  It was definitely the most “I Love Lucy” day of my life, and trust me, I’ve had a lot of “Lucy” days!

Things to know when visiting the chocolate factory…

• Unless otherwise indicated, all classes are for ages 14 and up.
• Book early!  Classes fill up quickly- especially for Mother’s Day, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day.
• There are NOT tours of the factory. People will tell you there are.  There are NOT.  The Lindt website clearly states this.  Many travel sites state otherwise.  They’re very wrong.
• Classes are not always offered in English.  This is an experience worth doing regardless of language!! There is always someone who speaks English, even if it’s just a bit.  Learning to make chocolate really is more of a visual experience, and the people that work there know how to teach- regardless of language ability.  Go, have fun, and try something new!!
• There is a shoppe by the factory where you can take some fun photos, buy some discounted chocolate, and stock up on some rare chocolate varieties that you can’t get everywhere.
• Even if you aren’t really a chocolate person, I would give this class a go.  It’s a ton of fun, and it’s truly a once in a lifetime experience!

Welcome to Bow and Branch!

Almost two years ago, my family and I moved to Zurich, Switzerland from Atlanta, Georgia.  I was 32 weeks pregnant, moving pregnant and internationally for the second time.  Excitement ran through my veins, curiosity enveloped my brain, and hope for a great life in our new home consumed many of my thoughts.

I know, there are a lot of blogs out there about being an expat.  This is not one of those.  Sure, I’ll occasionally take you along for the ride of my expat adventures and experiences, but above all else, this site has been born out of a desire to share that the world is a truly amazing place, filled with good things and fantastic people doing great things.  I am the mother of three gorgeous girls, the wife of a global businessman, and the friend to people that live in and are from all pockets of the world.  I am also an avid traveler, lover of international food, and I have learned that the global perspective, the global lifestyle we lead is something that could start a conversation, connect people, and inspire new thoughts, ideas, and even skills.

Earlier on in this journey, I wrote a food blog for many years (if you’d like to take a trip down my memory lane, it’s still online here).  During the majority of that experience, I was a young, first-time mother who was moving every 6 months to 1 year.  I was intensely curious about cooking the food of each place we lived in the healthiest way possible for our little girl.  I immersed myself in the cultures and local cuisine of each place, taking as many cooking and baking courses as I could find.  Eventually however, after becoming pregnant with our second child, my passion started to move in a new direction.

One of our early moves was to Florence, Italy.  It was hands down the most influential move of my life.  It was also what made me slowly drift away from writing a food blog. For Italians, food is not something to be Instagrammed; it’s important for their culture, family, and sense of place.  I began thinking about things more broadly than before – my love for great food and fantastic restaurants was still there, but how could I incorporate it into something greater?

Living in a culture hub like Florence reignited my desire to chase after some of the dreams I’d been ignoring for fear of failure.  I dreamt of learning about art, interior design, antiquing, and wine and I was in the perfect place for it!  I went to so many markets, exhibitions, and pop up shops, learning about antiques and artisanal goods, and came to find (through a dear friend) that I have an eye for design and things that people want but aren’t sure how to access.  By the time we left Italy, I felt I’d finally found that what I loved were things I could do for a living when I was ready.

Now that our youngest is almost 2, I’m finally pulling the rip-cord and am chasing my dream - Bow and Branch.  I’m so excited for monthly features of business owners, artisans, and taste makers as well as frequent posts of my family’s adventures, fun finds, classes I’ve taken, and team building events I’ve hosted.  Stay tuned here for more, and also check out my Instagram and Pinterest for an extra helping of “the good stuff”!!

Appreciating the beauty and peacefulness of the Temple of Debod in Madrid.