Lake Zurich- Even on the cloudiest days, still one of my happy places.

I’ve been in a difficult space the last few weeks. Moving back to the US has been like a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Yes, I read all the articles and books that told me I’d feel this way, and that it would be difficult, but it’s like explaining sex to a virgin. You can explain the science, but the feelings don’t make sense until it happens.

I’ve been carrying the weight of our simultaneously happy and sad girls. The holidays are coming and everyday someone is sad that they aren’t “home”. It’s left me a little fried, and frankly, with little room for me to write to process how I’m feeling.

I feel like there’s guilt that comes with taking time for yourself. Yes, we see things advertising self-care all over the place, and that we need to give ourselves grace. But, as much as I love my eye cream, it doesn’t feel the same as when I give myself the grace to take a moment to myself or accept failure. I’m a perfectionist. Failure is hard for me. I overthink and pick myself apart when I’m not careful. I think a lot of people do this and feel like it’s just something that we do- and it is, but I think it’s something to catch yourself on.

Sometimes we all need a healthy look in the mirror to recognize that we are okay. Being tired when life is tiring is okay. Feeling fried when you’re caring for little people, or old people, or a sick or emotionally draining partner is okay. Being human is okay. I’m too tired right now to pretend that everything is perfect. It’s not! But our kids are happy when they aren’t crying for “their Switzerland”. They’re thrilled to have their awesome schools, sweet friends, and American candy, bbq and soul food. And lord, they are thankful for good old American burgers.

Meanwhile, for myself, I’m looking forward to getting back in the groove of sharing regularly. This Sunday, I will FINALLY be sharing an amazing interview with my lovely, supportive friend, Susan Bradfield. She’s an Aussie photographer that I met in Zurich. She’s a wonderful photography teacher, landscape and travel photographer, and does beautiful family photos. I look forward to sharing her journey into photography, as well as some fabulous photography advice.

I have a lot of fun things in the works- styling your home and hearth for the holidays, yummy recipes, and interviews with some of my fabulous friends. Thanks for your patience during this crazy transition. I’m really excited for what’s to come.

Our 4 year-old took this when we were taking photos in Provence. It popped up on my phone today and was a gentle reminder to let things be.

We have a family motto - “We are builders, not breakers.” I’ve said this so many times to our children that I’ve heard them throw it out at a group of friends during a disagreement. I’ve watched our four-year old shout it at her friends on the playground when they’re being unruly and at her big sister when they fight.

Last September, our eldest daughter turned eight. She wanted to have a science party to celebrate. With the help of some friends, and my awesome husband, we hosted a party to remember.

The party was wonderful. We had monogrammed lab coats, safety goggles, notebooks to record their findings, an experiment with slime, an experiment about solids and liquids, and old faithful - the Mentos and Coke experiment. When the girls were done their structured experiments, they had free experimenting for almost an hour. It was so amazing to watch.

If you’ve ever hung out with a group of seven and eight-year old girls, you’ll understand why I felt that it was so important to repeat our family mantra at the beginning of the party, and throughout. I’ve been to so many drama-filled playdates and birthday parties, I’ve lost count. I was determined that this party would be as drama free as possible, and I have to tell you, there was none.

The girls were engaged. They really heard me when I said not to be a breaker, and to be a builder. I heard them repeat it to one another when they were doing their experiments. It was absolutely awesome.

When the girls sat down in their group at the end of the party, and their parents arrived, their parents walked in to a room of girls discussing their experiments and conclusions thoughtfully. The girls really listened and supported one another, and five months later, my heart is still so full and proud when I think of them and their behavior that day. They were the ultimate builders.

Lately, I feel as if we adults could use a gentle reminder that we need to be builders, and not breakers. Whether you’re trying something new, collaborating with someone, teaching, or even just being a friend or partner, it’s so important to remember the affect your words and actions have on the people around you. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to distance myself, or walk away from people that break me down. It’s more than okay. It’s a lesson I want my girls to see in how I live my life, so that they don’t break others down. Life is hard enough. Relationships are work. Be a builder, not a breaker.